Archive for August 2nd, 2012

VIDEO: Wendy’s Drawn into Chick-Fil-A Madness

THOUSANDS FLOCKED TO THEIR LOCAL CHICK FIL A’S YESTERDAY. IN SUPPORT OF FREE SPEECH FOR THE PROVIDERS OF DEEP FRIED CHICKEN….CARS FILLED WITH SMILING FACES SNAKED THE BUILDINGS AS GAY SUPPORTERS AND PETA STOMPED AROUND THE PERIMETER…EVERYONE INSIDE WAS LAUGHING, EATING DEEP FRIED BABY CHICKS….MEANWHILE THINGS WERE LOOKING QUITE SAD AT WENDY’S…AND ONE FRANCHISEE WHO HAPPENS TO OWN 86 WENDY’S RESTAURANTS IN THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA, WAS A VERY BAD BOY. JAMES FURMEN DECIDED TO HAVE ALL OF HIS RESTAURANTS DISPLAY THIS…AND AS SOON AS THE INTERNET WAS INFORMED…WENDY FRANTICALLY EMERGED FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE CORPORATE BASEMENT….TWEETING, “AN INDEPENDENT FRANCHISEE POSTED THE SIGN, WHICH HE’S TAKEN DOWN. WE PROUDLY SERVE *ALL* CUSTOMERS!” SOME GIRL GOT ANGRY SAYING CHICK FIL A DOES TOO….WENDY SAID NO NOT WHAT WE MEANT…AND WE ASSUME THEY DO DO TOO…AN HOUR LATER THEY START MISSPELLING STUFF IN HASTE, ADDING “THERE’S NO REASON TO BELIEVE THEY AREN’T PROUD TO SERVE ALL, AS WE ARE!” THEN MADE SOME COMMENTS ABOUT HITTING THEIR TWEET LIMIT BY HAVING TO REPLY TO ALL THE ANGRY PEOPLE….OH YOU POOR LITTLE REDHEADAfter a major Wendy’s franchise owner displayed supportive Chick-fil-A signs outside of an impressive number of Wendy’s restaurants, corporate attempted to do some damage control on Twitter, but only made it worse. First, through the actions of the franchisee, the chain temporarily aligned itself with Chick-fil-A’s stance on gay marriage rights, then took it back, angering liberals. Unfortunately afterwards, Wendy’s unintentionally insinuated on Twitter that Chick-fil-A does not serve food to homosexuals, angering conservatives. The signs were taken down, and those tweets have since been deleted. insinuatedhttp://fxn.ws/RdIrcXhttp://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/08/01/Wendy-s-Stumbles-into-Chick-fil-A-Controversy

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VIDEO: Japanese Women’s Clinic Now Offering 3D Printed Replicas of Your Unborn Fetus

ARE YOU HAVING ONE OF THESE? BUT RIGHT NOW, IT’S STILL JUST ONE OF THESE? YOU WANT AN OUTSIDE BABY, NOT AN INSIDE BABY–BUT SCOOPING IT OUT WITH A MELON BALLER AND LEAVING IT TO STRUGGLE IN AN INCUBATOR FOR 6 MONTHS IS YOUR ONLY OPTION. OR AM I?? JAPANESE ENINEERING CONCERN FASOTEC IS TEAMING UP WITH TOKYO’S PARKSIDE HIROO LADIES CLINIC TO BRING YOU A 3D-PRINTED COPY OF YOUR VERY OWN CHILD-TO-BE. BASED ON YOUR MRI SCAN, THIS BOUNCING BABY CHUNK OF RESIN SITS QUIETLY SUSPENDED IN TOP QUALITY LUCITE–AND IS AVAILABLE FOR A FRACTION OF THE COST OF THE REAL THING. JUST 100 THOUSAND YEN! THAT’S ABOUT 12 HUNDRED DOLLARS. SO TOSS OUT THAT GOOFY CRYSTAL TRANTULA, AND START WIEGHING DOWN YOUR TAX RETURN FORMS WITH AN ACCURATE FACSIMILIE OF OWN UNBORN CHILD. MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT! THEY’LL BE WEIGHING DOWN THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SOON ENOUGH!

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